The Health of the Human Spirit
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If we could ask each one — the famous and the familiar — “What got you through your crisis?” in all likelihood the responses would be similar. One by one, they would describe inner resources that enabled them to survive. These are the qualities Brian Luke Seaward, author of Stand Like Mountain, Flow Like Water, calls “the muscles of the soul.” Courage, faith, humor, patience, compassion, imagination, humility, forgiveness, intuition, creativity, optimism, honesty, and love.
It is in exercising these muscles that the health of the human spirit is maintained. And the fitness of the spirit is vital to our total well-being.
With the understanding that there is a definitive link between stress and disease, and a greater appreciation for the healing power of the human spirit, practitioners in all areas of health are beginning to acknowledge that to be healthy, one must acknowledge and nurture the human spirit.
Here are seven suggestions Seaward offers to enhance the health of the human spirit.
- The Art of Self-renewal — Self-renewal is a continual process. To be present and attentive to those around us and strong for others in times of need, we must first attend to our own capacity of strength and endurance. Typically this begins with some aspect of the centering process, going within to calm and replenish.
- The Practice of Sacred Rituals — We attribute specific habits and various reminded of life’s sacredness. Special readings or meditations in the morning, witnessing the sunset at night, regular meetings of certain groups to which we belong — all manner of activities can serve as a constant reminder that we are connected to something greater.
- Sweet Forgiveness — Every act of forgiveness is an act of unconditional love. For forgiveness to be unconditional, you must be willing to let go of all feelings of anger and resentment. We forgive others and we forgive ourselves.
- Embracing the Shadow — Embracing the shadow means to acknowledge negative, judgmental thoughts, and send a message of acceptance and compassion to that part of ourselves where these thoughts and perceptions originate.
- Keep the Faith — The power of faith requires balance. It is good to remember that “We are given no task too great to bear.” Faith is there to guide us through moments of turbulence.
- Live Your Joy — Living your joy is seeking and appreciating life’s beautiful side. It reminds us to live in the present moment rather than become immobilized by that which is past or that which is yet to come.
- Compassion in Action — Compassion in action can be explained in one word—service, and service offers a dividend of love to all parties involved.
In times of change, or when the ebbs and flows of life challenge us, it’s good to remember that our inner resources can be called upon to help us navigate each situation so that we can come through the victor, rather than the victim.
The Holidays: Here They Come, Ready or Not
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When the weather changes and the leaves begin to wither, it starts. By Halloween, it’s gathering momentum and by Thanksgiving, it has us in a full-body press. “It” is The Holidays, and whether you celebrate Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa or simply “the season,” what everybody has in common this last quarter of the year is stress with a capital S.
No wonder. All those events and activities, family gatherings. The kids are out of school again, house guests are coming, or you’re planning a trip. Don’t even mention shopping for gifts, sending greeting cards or decorating the house. The credit cards are maxed out, you’ve got more chores than you can shake a stick at and your “to do” list is longer than Santa’s beard. Read More→
Saving Ourselves from Self-Sabotage
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When he was a boy, Stan vowed he’d never be a father like his own father—aloof, critical and emotionally unavailable. Yet, 30 years later, he catches himself treating his son harshly and constantly judging him for not measuring up.
Patricia loves her job and her boss. The only thorn is that her boss prizes punctuality and Patricia just can’t seem to be on time for anything, whether it’s a team meeting or that project that was due last week.
What Stan and Patricia have in common is self-sabotage. It eats away inside, creating a cycle of self- destruction with the result that we aren’t really living the life we want for ourselves. Read More→
Are You Living in Sync with Your Values?
By · CommentsFulfillment in life is related to how well you are living in alignment with your values. Values are not morals or principles. They are the essence of who you are—not who you think you should be. For instance, money is not a value, whereas the things that money might buy, such as free time, risk-taking, and being of service are values.
When you’re aligned with your values, you feel inner harmony, your choices are more easily made, and your actions are in accord with your true self.
Take this quiz to see how well you are living in sync with your values… Read More→
10 Ways to Get Through Tense Family Gatherings
By · CommentsLet’s face it…family gatherings are not always roses and cotton candy. For some families, they’re masked balls, with everyone straining to maintain a façade of harmony. For others, they’re Wild West shootouts. Try some of these tips, if your family get-togethers are tense. Read More→
Self-Responsibility Starts with an “I”
By · CommentsJosie is a woman in her twenties. She lives at home with her mother who makes all of Josie’s important decisions: how to spend her money, who to go out with, even what clothes to wear. Josie is anxious and depressed.
Matt ordered a new printer for his office. When it arrived he discovered it wasn’t compatible with his computer. “Those idiots,” he ranted, “why didn’t they tell me this was the wrong printer?”
Sally and Jerry had a fight. Now Sally’s tossing and turning in the bedroom while Jerry beds down on the sofa. Neither is getting any sleep and both think the other should make the first move to apologize. Read More→
Tending the Fences: Setting Healthy Boundaries
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“Good fences make good neighbors.” So goes the old proverb from the well-loved Robert Frost poem.
Likewise, good personal boundaries make for good relationships. Boundaries are those invisible lines of protection you draw around yourself.
They let people know your limits on what they can say or do around you. Healthy boundaries give you freedom in relating to others. Make them too solid and you build walls, too weak and you allow other’s actions to harm you.
It’s not always clear where our boundaries are or need to be. Recognizing and studying the signs of ignored or ineffective boundaries is a good place to start, as these “symptoms” give clues to the needed boundary. See if any of the following ring true for you. Read More→
What’s (Self) Love Got to do With It?
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The legend of Narcissus tells of a young boy who, upon seeing his reflection in a clear fountain with water like silver, fell hopelessly in love with himself. Unable to tear his gaze away from his reflection, he could not eat, could not sleep, until finally, he pined away and died.
Unfortunately, the myth of Narcissus is too often our concept of self-love. We believe that if we love ourselves, we are selfish and self-centered, that falling in love with self means conceit and self-absorption. In fact, the opposite is true. Self-love is an honoring of the self that requires a high degree of independence and courage. The love we give others will be enhanced by the love we give ourselves.
A lack of self-love is a sign of low self-esteem or self-worth and shows its face in many ways: a refusal to enjoy life, workaholism, perfectionism, procrastination, guilt, and shame. Those who lack self-love avoid commitments, stay in destructive relationships, and fail to experience true intimacy with anyone. They practice negative self-talk, compare themselves with others, compete with others, caretake others and fail to take care of themselves. Unlike Narcissus, when they look in a mirror, they turn away. Read More→
How Well Do You Stay in the Present?
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The way to live a full and rich life, to deepen our connections with others and experience true intimacy is by staying in the present moment. Yet much of what we do takes us out of the present and into some unknown future or drags us back into the mire of the past. Other times, we simply “space out,” disconnect from where we are, who we’re with, and what we’re doing.
Take the following true/false quiz to discover how much, and in what ways you detach from the present moment. Read More→
Resentments and What to Do with Them
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Some people can spend hours dwelling on the wrongs done them, the injustices, the slights, insults, indifferences, and just plain bad treatment. They can think of a particular in- stance and, sure as Pavlov’s dog, up comes the same feeling the original occurrence caused, and they get mad all over again. They hold onto their resentments with the same tenacity that dog’s hair might cling to a cashmere sweater.
Resent comes from the French word sentir, to feel or experience. To resent something or someone is to feel again the fear, the anger, the hurt, the humiliation, the pain of the original experience—real or imagined. Carried along with us, this feeling gets packed away in a bag labeled “Grudge” or “Blame.” It’s a bag full of judgments where other people are always wrong and at fault, and, after a while, it can make for a pretty heavy load. Read More→
