How Well Do You Stay in the Present?

The way to live a full and rich life, to deepen our connections with others and experience true intimacy is by staying in the present moment. Yet much of what we do takes us out of the present and into some unknown future or drags us back into the mire of the past. Other times, we simply “space out,” disconnect from where we are, who we’re with, and what we’re doing.

Take the following true/false quiz to discover how much, and in what ways you detach from the present moment.

1. I have a tendency to live in the future, projecting into tomorrow, or next week or even years from now.
2. I spend much of my time thinking about the past, replaying conversations or reliving incidents, or I play “what if” in my mind.
3. Sometimes when I’m in conversation with someone, I can’t remember what was just said.
4. When eating a meal, my family often watches TV or reads.
5. In talking with someone, I think of how I’m going to respond rather than listening to what the other person is saying.
6. I tend to worry.
7. I try to figure out how things will work out or what someone else will do.
8. I often/frequently hope for something better or different.
9. I often/frequently dread something worse will happen.
10. I find myself always busy, with never a spare moment.
11. When I am feeling uncomfortable in a situation, I change the subject or get something to eat/drink/do.
12. I find it difficult to maintain eye contact when I’m talking with someone.
13. Sometimes I can’t remember what I just read or I don’t know what just took place in the movie or video I’m watching.
14. I take my cell phone everywhere and it’s always on.
15. My conversations with others tend to be about superficial subjects.
16. Rather than staying with my emotions and naming them (“I am feeling …”), I attempt to alter the feelings.
17. In my family or with my partner, we watch TV programs that we don’t really care about rather than interact with each other.

Many of us may feel a push-pull when it comes to intimacy.  We want to be closer to others, but the vulnerability that it demands is too frightening. Or we may feel restless or distracted or just plain uncomfortable when we attempt to stay in the present.

If you have any questions or you’d like to talk about your true responses to this quiz, please don’t hesitate to call.